“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not.”

1 & 2. Yogurt with fruity pebbles for breakfast / 3. Got my first ASOS parcel! / 4. Some random things bought in July

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Sometimes I confuse myself as much as the world confuses me. Like, if someone actually asked me why I did something, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know the answer. Maybe I'd manage to come up with something politcally correct or disgustingly fake, but deep inside, I would still know that wasn't what I really wanted to express.

Even little things like these bother me: I'm not sure if I had yogurt with fruity pebbles because I like yogurt more, or fruity pebbles; I'm not sure if I buy discounted items because I really liked them or more due to the fact they were cheaper than usual; I'm not sure if receiving parcels makes me happy because I'm excited about my online purchases or merely due to the joy I find in receiving and unwrapping parcels, including presents.

The thing is, how does it even feel like to be sure of something...?
So sure that you don't own anyone an explanation because you know what you're doing. So sure that you don't question yourself when you're bathing if this was the right thing to do. So sure that... you'll be sure of it even when the entire world says no right in your face. How much courage would all these take?

(x)

I cannot wait. I can't wait for the day I meet someone I'm sure of. I can't wait to find something I'm absolutely sure of doing. I can't wait for the day I can finally stop dealing with self-doubt and worrying about possible regrets unnecessarily.

Most importantly, I can't wait for the day I wake up and feel sure of myself.
I think it's coming... I can smell it. :)