Inner Mongolia (II)

Inner Mongolia (I)

Mongolian yurts we stayed in.

Really glad that this trip happened despite all the last minute ticket booking, people backing out at the last minute, schedule misfit, and lack of time because there were just too much going on at the same time - having to pack up the entire house, shift endless boxes of belongings and furnitures over to store at a friend's place, and graduation procedures to be settled by the seniors. We only managed to clear the whole house an hour before rushing to the airport, so it was really tiring.

Even though we had a terrible tour guide, spent too much time in the car travelling between destinations, and got a full body ache (butt especially) after horse riding, it was still a wonderful trip together before we part our ways...





The grasslands were magnificent. According to the locals they are less green and well-grown this year due to the lack of rain, but we girls from the city were already very very contented to see sceneries like these! The horse riding journey seemed endless, but it felt so free to be able to feast on such a huge piece of land and sky. We all got a few shades darker within hours, but I honestly didn't mind at all.



In 24 hours, we chased the sunset, fell asleep under the clearest and nearest milky way I've ever witnessed in my life, and woke up early to catch the sunrise. Temperature difference is really big on the grasslands and it almost felt like early winter at night. We wrapped ourselves up in blankets from our rooms (which obviously weren't supposed to be brought outside oops) and lay down under the magnificent milky way. I don't know much about constellations, but it was such a bliss to drift off to sleep under a wide night sky filled with stars that blinked like glitter.

At dusk.

A(l)way(s)

Artwork by Stefan Sagmeister

I can never understand how people just leave. As someone who wanted to shower at 10pm and eventually dragged until 12am just because a dog was sleeping on her crossed leg and she didn't want to wake it up, I really don't get how people can just… get themselves out of whatever kind of circumstances for whatever reason they deem appropriate.

"It's not the things you don't want that drag you under. It's the things you think you want."

The Late Realisation

"I only saw the waves. 

I should have seen the wind. 

The wind is the one that makes the waves."

—— The Face Reader

“人隔著心就有距離”

希望被疼惜 又不屑被放口袋裡
願意去相信 又將真心關得好緊

想改造自己想粉碎孤寂
卻搞亂自己卻打破愛情

太多的反省 壓力像鬼如影隨形
最初的幸運 最終會不會是囚禁
想膜拜心靈想特立獨行
卻服從規矩卻沉沒人群

多矛盾

Crazy, Stupid, Love

I spent my first day back in Singapore rolling on the bed pretending that is the rightest thing to do during one's semester break. After making coffee for breakfast and nibbling on a random piece of cookie I found in the kitchen, I crawled back into bed with my blankets and decided to start on one of the many movies that I have downloaded but yet to find time to watch. Life's pretty good right now, I thought, and I was almost convinced. Almost.

I mean, I was doing everything right, no? Staying in bed with comfy pyjamas on, brunch in bed, hair in bun, curtains undrawn, trying out the Bacardi Mojito I got from the airport duty-free store, loving it, munching on my favourite edamame… etc. And of course, I had to snap a picture of my 'good life' and tweeted about it, announcing to all the friends (mostly acquaintances, unfortunately) I have on social media platforms about #whatimdoingnow. Now that's the most important part of it all, isn't it? Updating your social media platforms in case no one knows you're still alive and kicking, even though you know way too well that no one really gives a shit about what you're eating or doing at the moment.

Watched Crazy, Stupid, Love.
For reasons obvious enough... or maybe not.

Halfway through the movie, I got distracted. I got curious, I got hopeful, as if I hadn't already known what the possible outcome was going to be. I picked up the phone and dialled.

"The M1 number you have dialled is not in use. Please check again."

I dialled again, even though I clearly knew it would be the same message.

This is all that I'm getting, after an entire semester of deliberately distracting myself in every way possible just so that I don't focus on the fact that I am, as much as I hate to admit, waiting. A voice message from an automated answering machine was all it took to kill all the tiny hopes I held on to inside of me. That was all it took - the last piece of block in an UNO Stacko removed from the already trembling tower - to make my world crumble. And the funniest part is, I did it all by myself. Self-inflicted, they say.

For fuck's sake.

Say What?

"Thank you for loving me."

This sentence could be a sweet line from some cliche romance drama, or the last words of a certain female lead dying in the arms of her boyfriend the end of some tearjerking movie. It could even be something your attached friends write as the caption of a cheesy photo with their other half. It could make you go aww or it could make you envy.

But really, this is just the worst thing you can ever thank me for.